No One Told Me This
No One Told Me This is a podcast about leadership, teams, and workplace culture, not as they’re meant to work, but as they’re actually experienced.
Hosted by Paul, the show explores the unspoken realities of working with people, the assumptions we make, the tensions we avoid, and the things we often learn the hard way. Through solo reflections, candid conversations, and the occasional deep dive, it’s a space to make sense of how work really gets done.
From culture drift and team dynamics to decision-making under pressure, each episode takes a grounded, thoughtful look at what leadership looks like in practice, especially when things aren’t neat or predictable.
Because sometimes the most important lessons aren’t the ones we’re taught. They’re the ones no one told us… or maybe we just weren’t listening.
No One Told Me This
S02E04 – We Don't Call It Lying... But It Is
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Most businesses say they value honesty.
But in reality… it’s often optional.
In this episode, we explore the everyday version of “lying” that shows up in teams. Not the big, obvious stuff, but the small, quiet moments that feel harmless in the moment:
“Yeah, I’ll send it through.”
“Just waiting on a couple of things.”
“Should be done by the end of the day.”
Over time, these behaviours create rework, confusion, and decisions based on incomplete information.
This isn’t about calling people out.
It’s about understanding why it happens, what it costs, and what it says about how teams actually operate.
This builds on earlier conversations about what’s valued vs said, and how people really show up in teams.
If you’ve ever felt like things aren’t quite adding up… this might explain why.
If this resonates, you might also want to check out previous episodes Values vs Valued and Who Are We Really?
If you’d rather read this one (or come back to it later), here's a piece I wrote earlier: Lying as a Commodity
This podcast is recorded on Wadjuk Noongar Country. I acknowledge the Traditional Owners of this land and pay my respects to Elders past and present.
You're listening to No One Told Me This. I'm Paul, and this is a podcast about leadership, teams, and workplace culture. Explored as they're actually experienced. We talk about the stuff no one really prepares you for. The assumptions we make, the tensions we avoid, and all of the mess in between. So I don't know if it's just me. But it feels like the truth's been getting a bit flexible lately. You know, you hear things, you read things, you watch things, and you think that's not quite right, is it? And the strange part is we're starting to get used to it. I've touched on this a bit in the last couple of episodes around the gap between what we say we value and what actually gets rewarded, and how people really show up in teams. And when you start to look at that, you see it everywhere. And it's not big dramatic lies, they're just everyday ones. And you've probably heard them before. Yeah, I'll send that through. I'm just waiting on a couple of things. Or should be done by the end of the day. And the thing is, most of the time, everyone knows it's not true. But we don't call it lying. We call it being busy, being under pressure, not wanting to rock the boat, or just getting through the day. But if we're honest, it's still not the truth. And this is where it gets interesting. Because most of those or most of these moments, they're not malicious. People aren't sitting there thinking, how do I deceive everyone today? Quite often they're just trying to avoid something. People don't lie because they are bad people. They lie because telling the truth costs them something. And that cost might be a difficult conversation, a hit to their reputation, a bit of embarrassment or shame, or just tension in the room. So instead we try to smooth it over. We delay things, we soften our response, we say it's fine when it's not. And over time that becomes the norm. That's how culture quietly drifts. People underestimate the impact this has on the business. Because on the surface it feels small, but what it creates is rework, confusion, delays, or decisions that are based on bad information. And you end up solving problems that don't actually exist, while the real ones continue to sit there. And this is where it links back to something that I've talked about before: the waste factory. Because a lot of this or a lot of that waste, it's not capability, it's not effort, it's this. Or it's easier to stay quiet than it is to speak up. And once that's set, you don't need to tell people to lie. The system does it for you. Now the thing is, you'll see this if you look for it. Things that are nearly done for way too long. Updates that feel vague or repetitive. Meetings where everyone nods their head and agrees, but no action follows. And issues that only surface when they're already a problem. And that's it's not bad luck, that's a pattern. We like to think honesty is a value, but in a lot of businesses honesty is optional, and comfort is rewarded. If you're seeing friction, rework, or things just not moving, it might not be a capability problem. It might be that people don't feel safe about telling the truth. And once that happens, the version of the business you're operating isn't the real one. This is one of those things that sits inside a bigger pattern around how behavior actually shows up in teams. And I might unpack a few more of those in the next few episodes. Okay, that's it for this episode. Thanks for listening to No One Told Me This. If it landed, send it to someone else trying to lead without completely losing the play. You can follow the show for more honest conversations around leadership, teams, and workplace culture. Catch you next time.